Before we talk about the stages of relationship, we should look at how to measure if you are in a good relationship,

by Blake Carrington Johnson.

1.  A good relationship is one where intimacy develops slowly from a friendship to a commitment.  You participate with a person who is cable of fulfilling your intimate relationship needs.  He/she doesn't have deep emotional scares from their childhood, or a previous relationship that has not been resolved or worked on. He/she is capable of trusting and being trusted.

2.  A good relationship is one that is based on a commitment or headed toward a commitment.  You feel secure about the future of the relationship. There is no confusion or fear of abandonment.  You do not have to cling to the person in your life for fear that they will want to pull away.   You feel relaxed and are not anxious about losing the relationship.

3.  A good relationship is one where two people don not need each other in a sense of codependency, but have a great desire to be together. Each party are already individually strong, the relationship enhances their lives.  There is consistant sharing of pleasurable  activities.  You are not constantly disappointed or irrated by your partner's destructive habits, drugs/alcoholism, affairs, emotional, mental, psychological or physical abuse.

4.  A good relationship is a partnership that is based on friendship and respect.  Your partner is a true friend, who encorages you to become you very best.  No one acts superior to the other. No one has to beg or plead to get your needs met and when their are children, parenting philosophies about discipline are collaborative and negotiated with each other.

5.  A good relationship is one where there is true intimacy of revealing and sharing yourself with your partner as he/she reveals and shares him/ her-self also.  There is trust and concern about each other's welfare and true happiness.  Both party can openly talk about their needs. Most importantly, you are listened to.

6.  A good relationship is one where two individuals can resolve conflicts in a peaceful and calm manner, without violence or emotional abuse. Feelings can be openly expressed.  Conflicts are resolved by coming to a compatible agreement. There does not have to be aright or wrong in every situation. If the agreed decision does not work out satisfactorily, in which case both parties should be willing to work on other options.

7.  A good relationship is one where both individuals see themselves as partners  There is good communication and feelings of closeness and joy. Bother partners beleive that they can gain far more by remembering to keep agreements and their commitment to each other. There is not need to dominated or compete with each other or a need to have one up on your partner.

8.  A good relationship is one where two people maintain an enthusiasm about the other's person hobbies work/career,friends and values. You can focus on your daily lives and the needs of your children, biological,non-biological or blended families.

9.   A good relationship is one where each partner has a circle of friends and interest outside of the relationship, but not intrusive to the point that your relationship is not been natured and needs of the couple are overwhelmed with the need of people outside of your relationship. There must be a balance between family, friends and social involvement without being isolated.

10. A good relationship is one that each partners are evenly yoked spiritually, mentally, emotionally and psychologically.  This reduces misunderstandings and improves compatibility with partners.

By Blake Carrington Johnson